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My wife is an abusive alcoholic, help!

Posted on 13.11.2022

For a quick backstory, my wife is unable to stop drinking when she starts. This usually ends with a fight where she says nasty things to me just for the fun of it, accuses me of infidelity, degrades me, and questions my role as a father because of my work hours. She’s always very apologetic when she sobers up.

This week she was determined not to drink and did great. I’m in the middle of an 84 hour work week and when I’d get home, she’d walk on the treadmill while I spent time with the kids. This morning I snuck out of work to have breakfast with the family and she ordered a Bloody Mary with her breakfast. I mentioned it and she said she was good all week and it won’t hurt. She called me in the afternoon and said she was taking the kids to the park (our son is sick and it was snowing) but I could barely understand her, she was slurring her words and not making much sense and then hung up on me mid-sentence. I rushed home and she stank of alcohol and I gave her a breathalyzer (purchased after an incident over the summer) and needless to say, she was not going to be driving our kids anywhere. I asked for her keys and this is when the yelling started. I had to get back to work so she just carried on over text. Right before I got off I started getting very weird texts that I couldn’t decipher so I called her parents to check on her. When I got home she was barely functioning and the kids (4) and (2) were crying. I was mortified they were exposed to this. Her mom talked to her while I took care of the kids. I started cleaning the living room when I found it… An almost empty bottle of 90 proof rye whiskey laying on the floor under the coffee table. We put her to bed and her parents left.

I don’t even know what to say tomorrow when she wakes up. Part of me wants to give her an ultimatum to never drink again if she wants to keep her family, or just tell her I’m done and fight for full custody of the kids. I’m worn out but I don’t want give up on my wife.

TL;DR – My wife tried to drive drunk with our kids and proceeded to get black out drunk in-front of them, what can I do to save my family?

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