I (40, F) have a pattern of commonly being the “side chick” or backburner woman/second selection in dating. I purposely date guys that are solitary as well as that appear mentally smart. I am not seeming second-rate yet it typically winds up in this manner and also uncertain if in some way I emit side chick feelings, or if I'' m simply not being boundaried sufficient with selecting that I day as well as what I enable from males. I clothe perfectly, I assume (hope) that I am appealing as well as great firm as well as it takes me a while to really feel prepared for physical affection, and also yet, this commonly occurs, with the males I date placing me on the sidelines while they go after various other extra severe alternatives as well as I discover this out a lot later on. They wear'' t typically currently have a companion, it'' s a lot more like they are trying to find alternatives they view to be much better than me. As soon as, a man I was dating informed me, “you wear'' t comprehend, I ' m seeking somebody to invest my LIFE with” – that made me believe, alright, why not me? So I'' m questioning, particularly to the hetero guys of dating over forty, what makes you consider an individual as not a major alternative – exists anything specifically? I want to damage this pattern. I asked a pal that is additionally an ex lover and also he stated that my age and also freedom may be aspects. Or probably it'' s simply exactly how dating is nowadays, with great deals of individuals trying to find shinier alternatives. Many thanks for any kind of ideas.