It was my birthday yesterday and while I wasn't expecting anything big (boyfriend can't afford much), I was hoping for something small to show his appreciation for me. He came over after I asked him to and he brought me a gift that his mom bought for me. While this was thoughtful of her, I would've much rather gotten a gift from my boyfriend instead. The least he could've done was given me a nice birthday card or some baked goods, but he didn't. I asked him why he couldn't do the bare minimum for me and he just blamed it on being broke, procrastination and his depression. He scrambled to write me a birthday card on a piece of scrap paper after I got upset with him, but I told him not to bother with it.
Later on, we got into an argument after I told him that his lack of effort made me feel like he didn't care about me. At one point, he had a veeery agitated, scary look on his face so I blurted “you look like you want to punch me.” He said yes, which was shocking. As a trauma response (from being physically abused in the past), I impulsively punched myself in the face because in my mind ” if I do it for him, he doesn't have to think about or potentially do it at any point.” Is this a sign of potential abuse down the line? I'm not sure what to do going forward
tl;dr: My bf's mom got me a gift instead of my bf doing it himself. The least I expected out of him was a heartfelt bday card especially since I put in quite a bit more effort on our special days. This resulted in an arguement that led to him essentially admitting that he felt like punching me. After things cooled down, he apologized and claims that he didn't really mean it.